This morning I experienced something I likely should have started three years ago when I first ventured out in labor support….a gathering of the families I have had the honor and privilege to work for and with.
It happens, we labor support people meet the families, get to know them, join them start to finish for one of the most intense day (or days) of their life…and then we leave. We may have one to two visits with you to see how the family unit is getting on, assist with breastfeeding, but…then we do the sad job of leaving you to become your own family.
We are trained in letting go, leaving you to flourish as parents. But we think of you. We think of a moment we might have shared with you that is forever etched on our life’s template. Like when you look at us and say something like “ I just want to see the series of Breaking Bad before I have this baby,” or when you look at us and say “ Holy S*it, I’m a mum, what’s up with that?” For me, it’s those memories that make me chuckle in the aisle of the grocery store. You’re like a high school boyfriend that makes me smile for no reason….just at the thought.
So, I couldn’t in good faith let another year pass without seeing your breath-taking babies and you again. You, parents, need to know that you are what makes my work thrive. I believe I was meant to work with each family that chooses me. Because you chose me, my life is richer; because you choose me I don’t scowl at my phone when it rings in the night…instead I smile and think “ Here’s another woman, or family I’m gonna love even more after the next 24 hours passes, I’m about to get a lot more connected to what loving your purpose and work is.”
And so I asked all of my 2013-2014 families to join me for a morning of lemonade, bliss balls and a group photo.
As the cars rolled into the parking lot at Gyro Beach at 10am this morning, I just kept thinking, “ Have they even had a chance to have coffee?” “ Have I interrupted baby’s morning nap?”…I had a niggling feeling of guilt for having made the families come all this way just so I could ogle them and get a group photo. But you emerged from your vehicles all smiles, ready to connect with other families, maybe with a babe born the same month as yours.
Me? I just stood there and had a Grinch moment; you know that scene where his heart grows exponentially bigger every time he sees an act of kindness? Every hug I had, every baby who just smiled up at me four, five even ten-month’s later. When I left most of these babies they were barely holding their head’s up. Now, they’re smiling, charming, chunky little people. I have a terrible memory but I remember vividly the moment each of them came into the world.
Last night I planned what I would say to everyone who came. I’d tell them that meeting them and being a part of their birth experience has been the fulfillment in my life I never thought I could get from my work. I’d tell them that each of them had taught me so much about what makes a solid relationship between two people or between a mother and their child. I’d tell them that just by showing up on a sunny Sunday morning when there was a World Cup game fixin to start, just warmed my heart to bits. I’d finish by letting them know that I can look at each and every one of them and relay a heartfelt moment we had shared on “ Birth Day” and how that solidifies my view that we are all meant to share these moments with each other as human beings in our life time. Instead, I felt myself overcome with emotion and felt I might burst into tears and be the “loser doula” who lost it in front of a bunch of smiling, gurgling babies. So, I kept it simple, which is just as well as I’d opened up my left toe a few minutes before on something menacing in the sand. I needed to get it looked at by one of my nurse clients who knew how to doula the doula
What I will now say is true, authentic, raw honesty comes forth from a woman and their partner on the day a child is born. And, then we all surface and move on with our lives. Thank you for letting me be there and support you through your first or third time at the “true- authentic-honest rodeo“.
Today, I just wanted the opportunity to let you know I hold you all in my thoughts long after my service is done with you. You may never really know the joy that radiates throughout my whole body when I see you on the street or in gatherings like today. You affirm that I’m on my chosen path even if my parents likely think I need to go back to a “real job.” You are my real job!
Once this toe heals up I’ll be up in the night to serve more families, but client’s past… you’ll all be etched in this “Grinch” Doula’s heart.